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Stories on getting help:
When I was in the situation I didn’t know where to go. I spoke to friends. There was a woman at work that was my friend and she knew what I was going through. My only getaway was that small part-time job but he’d still come and make sure I was there. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know how to get out and I was too scared to get out because he was with me 24/7. He controlled my phone, my laptop, everything.
I was actually in a violent relationship, in a toxic relationship, before I even knew it. It started way before things got physically violent. There’s the control a lot earlier in the relationship, the early warning signs.
It’s easy to judge people but it can happen to anyone. It’s so hard to deal with and the way people treat you during those times can make things a lot worse. It knocks you when you’re trying to yourself get out of this thing and someone says “well, why didn’t you just leave him”. It’s like you’re walking a really thin line and it’s taking everything you have to get to the other side. So, when you’re taking ten steps backwards and you’re quite fragile, different people’s words affect you because you’re trying to find your own – you’re actually trying to be a new person.
I was aware of services like Pat Thomas House, but I was still in denial that I needed help. It wasn’t until I spoke to a close girlfriend who had been there and she said to me I needed to think of myself – that there is help out there, and that I did need it.
It was through this friend who was going through something similar, that I finally got help. I really got a lot of my information from her. I think because she is a friend and I trust her. I don’t think I would have made those calls to get help otherwise. At that stage I was drawing on people I knew for my support. I was just relying on my parents, close friends, and occasionally seeing my GP.
Recognise behaviour that’s causing harm to you or an older person you know.
Listen to their story, let them know you understand what they are saying and how they are feeling.
Level of urgency. Is it an emergency? What are the threats? Is there a possibility of them hurting themselves or others?
Plan. If at risk, tell them you are concerned and call the Police. If it is not immediately serious, talk to them about a safety plan and where they could go for help.
Refer. Let them know you are there for them and help them find services.
Document. Keep a note of what you have done.
WSNTV is a community project to raise awareness, improve understanding, and take action to prevent family and domestic violence in the Peel region.
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PO Box 1625, Mandurah WA 6210