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Studies show that living with family and domestic violence can cause physical and emotional harm to children and young people in many ways: ongoing anxiety and depression; emotional distress; eating and sleeping disturbances; physical symptoms, such as headaches and stomach aches; low self-esteem; and self-harm.
Young people who are exposed to family and domestic violence can have trouble forming positive relationships; struggle with going to school and doing school work; and may use bullying behaviour themselves or become a target of bullying. Young people exposed to domestic and family violence are more likely to be homeless, abuse drugs and alcohol, engage in risk-taking behaviours, and be controlling and manipulative in relationships.
It has affected my children in not very good ways. My son’s taken on that violent role that he saw his father doing and now he’s violent towards me and my daughter.
At times it can be quite scary because he’ll pick up anything he can find and throw it at us because that’s what he saw his father doing. I’ve had a lock put on my door so if my daughter doesn’t feel safe she can go into my room lock the door and my son can’t get in there because I’ve got the key that I carry around with me all the time. That’s the safety plan we’ve had to put in place for when he’s really bad.
One of my daughters has just kept it in and not talked about it. I think that’s why the anger’s coming out in her now. She’s turned violent which is something that I thought that she would never do. She hasn’t hit me but she puts her fist up and just gets angry and can’t understand why she’s feeling so angry all the time. My other daughter sits and cries and just blurts everything out, but she’s really depressed.
My kids fight constantly and not just normal siblings fighting. They have seen violence, they’ve been through violence, they’ve seen the nasty stuff their father used to do to me and then my retaliations back to him because I wasn’t going to lay down and take it either. They shouldn’t have seen stuff like that. My kids now they think it’s okay to threaten each other with a knife or something like that. If I’m not around, if I’m in my room or I’ve ducked out to the shop, I’ll come back and World War III’s hit my house. I don’t know, they just don’t get it.
My sons saw him beat the crap out of me because they were living with us and there was nothing they could do. My ex was the sort of person that will pour petrol around your house and light it up and stand there and watch you burn. My older boys left, but the younger one was still living with us when he was 18. One time my ex took me out of town. He stole my car and went home and told my son “your mum will walk in with a black eye because I punched her in the head again” – and this poor kid just had to go, OK and walk away.
Recognise behaviour that’s causing harm to you or an older person you know.
Listen to their story, let them know you understand what they are saying and how they are feeling.
Level of urgency. Is it an emergency? What are the threats? Is there a possibility of them hurting themselves or others?
Plan. If at risk, tell them you are concerned and call the Police. If it is not immediately serious, talk to them about a safety plan and where they could go for help.
Refer. Let them know you are there for them and help them find services.
Document. Keep a note of what you have done.
WSNTV is a community project to raise awareness, improve understanding, and take action to prevent family and domestic violence in the Peel region.
0437 351 812
peelsaysno@gmail.com
PO Box 1625, Mandurah WA 6210